THOUGHTS ON FAILURE

For such complex beings, it is insane that our existence is cripplingly challenged by the fear of this trivial thing failure. I would define failure as the inability to succeed at any certain task. I personally have struggled with the fear of failure. At this point in my life it is certainly my worst fear. The feeling of not being enough, it drives me not into anger or sadness but straight into depressive episodes.

The pursuit of success is my hope in this crazily confusing existential crisis. Even though everything right now makes no sense, I am driven to find my own definition of success, this life can be very empty and hard to beat. Just like my beloved Manchester United showed in the 1999 Champions League final true ecstasy can be achieved when you come back from the dead, from — nothing — from — loss — SUCCESS. That feeling can make any pain go away,it can validate your efforts. It makes the confusing struggle make sense. EUREKA BABY!!!

My dream and my biggest fear have to interact. For me to reach my desired heights. I have to be relentless in the pursuit of failure, there are countless stories of people achieving the impossible. Impossible cannot happen right? I mean yeah it is not possible by definition. You’ll never know for sure until the thing is done. It then seems optimal for human to relentlessly chase failure, that’s the only route to exponential success. I mean the most successful people have always done things, that were not known to be possible. Is this the goal of our existence? Did I just have a revelation? For me to find out I have to keep relentlessly chasing failure. Someday I might be able to find out.